dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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