I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
