yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
