his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
