...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
