Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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