I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
