we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
