i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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