too bad you live with your parents still
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
