As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
my liver is dry heaving
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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