As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
