My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
