question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I donβt have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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