If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
