Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
