well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
