Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
40s are totally the cure
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
