I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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