i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
