my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
