help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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