He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
