Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
