in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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