some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
