yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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