my shit smells like andre
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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