Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
