My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
