It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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