dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
