I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
