Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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