new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
