Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
