Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
