ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
is wine microwaveable?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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