Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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