There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
