Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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