there was a trapeze. enough said
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
