Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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