What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
