I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
