Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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