I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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