We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
