Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize