This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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