Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
