Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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