Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
