If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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