...so i touched it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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