If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
In America we eat man semen.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
