The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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