16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
