I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
