goodnight i made you a song goodbye
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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