Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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