it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
