he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
