haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize