I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
