I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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