I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
