another moral hangover. fuck.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
