the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
