dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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